My strongest enemy

The strongest enemy I can ever face is the doubt within me. Such an enemy knows my fears and weakness. It would exploit the smallest crack, a sliver of doubt can become the heaviest weight. And it is strongest when I have reached solid perceptions about my relationship with reality. It is when I have built up such logical-inter locking ideas that doubt can slip in the easiest.

In the dark it is a whisper "what if you are wrong?" And for a moment, a brief flash inside my head, everything is a mistake. Every rule upon which I have based my interactions with the world, every value and principle I have weighed against my own unerstanding of the truth, is simply all mistaken. But then I must blink away such thoughts, for if not then all the hard work towards the formation of an agreeable self using my logic, my thoughts, my ability to reason is all based on the wrong perceptions. What if any human found out his ability to percieve has been twisted, that who he is is simply having the wrong notion of the truth? What would I do? Would death be a better choice than to face the fact that the build-up of your character is a joke? That is a powerful question.

But I think the treasure here is the very ability to doubt my own thinking process. It brings up questions that would otherwise remain buried. Questions that usually could not be asked. I think this is what is meant by "fighting yourself." Just like in swordsmanship, in that I can only reach a certain level before I must seek out stronger, more knowledgeable opponents if I wish to surpass my own innate ability (my own ability to judge and evaluate my skill).