Insanity in Coherent form?

Its strange when I think about the expectations I had as a child. There was no worry about the future. I assumed I would go to college, discover what I wanted to do, graduate and get a job. As smoothly as the words I just wrote. Well my life or should I say the life of a human`s life has gone very differently than I expected. Depending on myself is very hard. Although I feel I am doing what I must, at the same time I feel this heavy weight of responsibility that says its selfish to devote your life to your own pursuits, that even if the end result might benefit mankind its just an excuse to avoid duty now.

My thoughts always turn to the future, that in the current state of the world I should work to forge a place somewhere. Have a status that reflects upon my relationship with others. That people expect me to find a job that suits my intellect as well as be suitable to living. Of course a suitable living is deemed enough money to provide for future expenditures, things that may or may not happen. Why can`t they give people a chance? I understand that we humans push this standard of living as an ideal model as it promotes progress through stability, though I admit they are opposites.

What if a sole individual takes as his assumption that humans, given the knowledge of self-awareness, will strive to exceed the bounds of what it means to be human? What if the reason we repeat our failing in history is simply because the individual does not recognize the pattern and mistakes it for change, for randomness? For we as a species are closest to a group consciousness than we have ever been before. Data reflecting many facets of our lives is readily available to most of those that influence change in this system. We have grown accustomed to adapting our methods of thought to the times. I think it will become harder to separate individual thoughts based on reality and thoughts based around culture. Is it not so strange that perhaps in the future the beauty of software will compete with that of reality, that one`s knack with technology will be his golden ratio, that the absence of interest in software-no- the absence of any means of entertainment will be thought of as psychotic.

Perhaps, but perhaps there are others like me, just awakening to the evolving condition in our world. And see that the answer lies not in the political world, in military means, in grassroots movements, in grand unified theories and demonstrations, in citizens takeover or guerrilla warfare, even on online systems or cutting edge technology. Simply because it is harder to move backward than forward. It lies in finding the truth, because whatever I can imagine as the truth is never quite correct. Looking upon the millions upon millions if interlaced points on one human`s mind, they all hide the fact that they are based upon a core. Its not a truth because nothing else is false. A core each and every person cannot deny.