Fallback plan

I wonder if there are others out there with the same echoing fatalistic fallback buried behind every plan and endeavor? Suicide,no. Defeat and fade to obscurity within yourself, no. Retreat and regroup, yet with none of the hopes and dreams that so compelled earlier life, no. Its a simple, solid voice that whispers "should you fail, a life less glorious, a life less successful, a life shorter and harder but a life free awaits you." Its a solid plan of action that lies under all other plans. And sometimes its so tempting to give in to that voice.

To follow it out of the city, out of civilization and into the borderlands where no pity or glamor await. Take to the road and walk, let the feet carry you where it will and survive on what you can. Exist in a nomadic life, growing old without technology`s comforting cushion or culture`s uniting warmth. Every day a different place, a different feeling and a different sunrise. Its a bold move that would forever halt one`s advance in history. "Here" they would say, tracing the time-line, "here is where he disappears, here is where his share in the human race was forever halted." Even one with a small bit of intelligence can foresee the isolation that would slam down at that decision.

But there at the base of life, at the bottom of the barrel, life appears most beautiful. It seems when every shred of dignity and honor that you wear as a wardrobe is stripped and gone, when food takes on the quality of necessity and the sun striking out of the night is god, then and there does life appear most valuable. Sometimes it is very tempting.

But I believe one shouldn`t give in that easy. How would I write? How would I know the joy of friendship or see another`s passion of interest? In the midst of society I can still feel a bit of fellowship and share in the pride when something grand happens or feel sad at the collapse of hope. It would be very hard to cut those links, and once they were severed, they are forever.

I wonder what other ideas lie under all other plans, for other people? Do they have an ultimate fallback, some solid bedrock to walk out upon? Hmmm